Loved

"He determines the number of stars; He gives names to them all."
//Psalm 147:4

Last weekend, my youth group went on a retreat to Ridge Haven in Brevard, North Carolina. Oh, how good it was for my soul. We were all thoroughly soaked in God's love, truths, and sunshine. It was just so filling and so refreshing.

Psalm 147:4 was part of our call to worship at church this morning. It reminded me of stargazing at Ridge Haven. One night, we were walking back to our cabins from a huge dance party. It was a good fifteen minute walk back, and it was a gorgeous night. One of my friends said, "Oh, guys look up!" We all lifted our eyes and oohed and aahed at the stars. Since we were in the mountains, they were so clear and stunning. I couldn't keep my eyes off of them as we headed back. It struck me that the One who had created those stars and named them loved me. He loved me. He knew my name. What?? How crazy is that??

The theme of the weekend was Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places. It's incredible how relevant that theme was to my life. I struggle with remembering, accepting, and believing the truth that God loves me. But listening to the talks reminded me that his love is real. He just blows up the lies that are constantly fighting for my attention. The lie that he doesn't love me. The lie that I need others' approval in order to be happy. The lie that he can't and won't satisfy me. His love destroys them. Every once in a while they come back to haunt me, whispering in my ear that he doesn't really love me, that I'll never be enough. This is a result of living in a sinful, broken world. But each and every time, his love breaks through and overwhelms the lies and leaves me dumbfounded.

After one of the talks at the retreat, God just kept putting on my heart, "Why do you need their approval? You already have mine." Oh how freeing that truth is. It allows me to be myself, confident in who I am. Just to remember he delights in me...that just blows my mind. He just keeps pouring blessing out, keeps reminding me how loved I am...I have no words for how incredible that is to me. It fills me with so much joy and peace. Ahhh <3

I'll end on this sweet note. My youth pastor was so full of joy and happiness on the way home and we asked him, teasingly, why he was so happy. He responded with this: "Jesus loves me. He really does."

I pray all of you rest in that truth today and forever. Much love. <3