Brothers and Sisters

Relationships in general have just been on my mind lately. Girls and guys alike. I've really grown to truly appreciate the friendships I have with girls. They are so much fun, and have just loved on me through so many circumstances. God has really blessed me just over the past two years with girl friends that are strong in the faith and are striving towards being more like Christ. They've been my sisters, listening to me talk about anything and everything, giving me hugs all the time, and sending me texts that just brighten my day. They are such blessings and I am so thankful to have them.

Then there are the guys.

Guys can be wonderful friends. The ones I know have great senses of humor, enough patience to teach me how to throw a football (a hopeless endeavor at times, I know) and willingness to help me in things like debate or math. They're pretty great, don't get me wrong.  I was talking to one of my best friends a couple of weeks ago, and I was telling her how my brother thinks it's hilarious how comfortable I am when I talk about my friends that are guys. She looked at me and said, "Aren't you so thankful for those guy friends?" I said yes. She replied, "I'm really happy you have them, and sometimes I wish I was as comfortable as you are. But you know, God has really been teaching me that girl friends are what I need right now. They really are the best." I smiled and gave her a hug. "I wholeheartedly agree." Girl friends are a wonderful thing to have. And guys, this all applies to you too. All of your 'bros' or whatever you call them, are gifts from God. They are your brothers and while girls are good friends to have, your 'bros' are what you need right now.

I have no interest in dating or even letting the world know if I like someone right now. It's just not worth it. Now, I know there are so many people writing on this topic, about staying pure, guarding your heart, and all that good stuff. And I agree that you should strive to stay pure and guard your heart. There are some really good blog posts, articles, and thoughts on these topics out there. But there's something else I've been thinking about too. My guy friends aren't just my friends. They are my brothers in Christ.

I usually don't like it when someone refers to a guy as their 'brother.' Yes, I agree that some things about him may make him similar to a brotherly figure, but girls, he's not your brother. He's still a 'possibility' as my momma puts it. There is still a chance of you dating or even marrying him even if it seems utterly absurd right now. With your actual brother, there's not even a slight chance of you dating or marrying him. But guess what? With those guy friends, you have Christ in common. You are a brother and sister in Christ. And that relationship trumps every relationship you will ever have with him. If you end up going out or getting married or even just staying friends, you will always be a brother and sister in Christ. That's such a cool thought isn't it? In a sense, he is your brother. As a guy following Christ, he will strive to treat you like his sister. Protect you and love you like his sister. Respect you by guarding your heart as well as his. And guys? It's the same again for y'all too. As your sisters, we will strive to respect you and honor you. We will do our best to love you like family and  guard your heart as well as ours. I love that thought.We're all in this struggle together. And because we're brothers and sisters in Christ, we treat each other like family, no matter where life takes us.

                           

                           

                           

Unfolding Grace

I have so many thoughts running around in my head right now, I just am not sure where to begin. I'm still trying to process everything, even though it's far from over. It started a couple of weeks ago, when my daddy lost his job. It wasn't a huge huge surprise but it still hit us hard. At first, I think it didn't truly hit me what had happened. As far as I could tell, nothing changed in my life. I didn't struggle with it as much as my parents or my siblings and I couldn't figure out why. One of my dear friends came over for a Saturday afternoon and just told me she understood what our family was going through, as theirs had gone through similar circumstances. She said if I ever needed to talk about it, she was there. I loved her for it, and it meant a lot to me, but at that point I was doing just fine.

Then my momma got a call one Tuesday afternoon when we were all at Grandmom's for dinner. She went outside to answer it, while the rest of us talked. Then she came back in, and I could tell something was wrong. She sat down and told us through tears that it had been a call about her recent mammogram, saying they had found a spot and because of her history it needed to be checked.

My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer when she was pregnant with my youngest brother. I was eight. It was a hard journey for us, as I only understood a little of what was going on and my siblings were just as confused. God was so faithful to us and Isaac is now seven and as healthy as can be. My momma, for the past seven years, has had a perfect report whenever she's gone to the oncologist. When I heard there was a possibility it might have come back, a lump rose in my throat. I did not want to go down that road again and I knew for sure she didn't either.

Later that night, I went down to say goodnight to her. She was in her bedroom, and we began to talk. She told me how it was very possible it wasn't cancer. At her last appointment, her doctor had told her he thought she'd beaten it. She told me she wasn't scared that God wouldn't take care of us, but more of what path he was going to lead us down. I agreed, gave her a hug, and went back upstairs.

I sat down on my bed and just couldn't hold it together anymore. My heart was so heavy. For my mom, my dad, our family. I just started crying out God, saying over and over again, "I believe. Forgive my unbelief." I knew in my head that he would take care of us no matter what. But my heart was so grieved and full of fear. I didn't believe it in my heart. I didn't think I'd be able to rejoice and thank God if it was cancer. I knew he was good in all circumstances, and would give us grace to believe that he was and is, but it was still hard.

I picked up my Bible and my book for Bible study. My Bible study leader had just put on Facebook what chapter we were going to discuss that Wednesday night. Guess what the title was? Fighting Through Tough Times. I couldn't help but grin when I read that. That chapter was just rich with truth, talking about the enormity of God's grace and love through the tough times.

God is good, a hiding place in tough times.

He recognizes and welcomes

anyone looking for help,

no matter how desperate the trouble.

Nahum 1:7-8        

We're not giving up. How could we!

Even though on the outside

 it often looks like things

are falling apart on us, on the inside,

where God is making new life,

not a day goes by without his unfolding grace.

2 Corinthians 4:16-17

Not a day goes by without his unfolding grace…isn't that beautiful? I smiled so big when I read that. His grace lasts forever and is there every single day. 

On Wednesday my mom told me that she had read a verse in 2 Chronicles. "Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed. Tomorrow go out against them, and the Lord will be with you." She had called the hospital to set up a follow up appointment. The lady had said they didn't have anything for two weeks. Mom sighed, saying she just wanted to get it over with. The lady understood, and looked again. There was a spot on the very next day, "tomorrow"!  God was so faithful. It was just a reassurance, God letting us know, "I got this." 

That night, after I got home from Bible study, one of my best friends started sending me verses and lyrics from Oceans by Hillsong. Every single one of them just overflowed with truth.

My momma told me later that Psalm 34:4 also came to her mind the morning of the appointment. She went in and a couple hours later texted me. It wasn't cancer. It was only a cyst. I sat down and cried right then and there. The Lord is so good. I couldn't help but praise him and thank him for his love towards us. Today I talked to my Bible study leader, my second mom, at church. She told me she couldn't wait until we got to the other side where God had so many wonderful things planned and where we could look back and say, "God was working. And he is good.""

life of late.

Over the past couple of weeks, there have been happy reunions, coffee dates, and just fun happenings. :) So, here are a few pictures of what life has been of late. Enjoy!

Jess was home for a week!

The laughing game.

Photo shoot with this gorgeous girl.

Masterpiece.

Typical day at school...

Spring formal!

Trip to Delaware for a long weekend.

My sisters in Christ. <3

Sending this sweet girl off to Haiti.

Sunday picnic with sweet families from church.

Spending a day at the elementary campus.

Coffee date.