Overflow

Oh y'all, I am so sorry I haven't kept up better with this blog. School and life have just been crazy lately. Great and wonderful, but crazy.

Lately the Lord has really just been putting on my heart that he is more than enough and that because he is, that more should overflow from me into others. Before the school year started, and "it was the clove of the seasons, where summer was dead, but fall had not yet begun" (quote from my English class ;)) I had a lot of time to think. About all the change that was going to happen. I know change has been a pretty frequent topic on here, and there's a pretty good reason for that. Nothing this year, my junior year of high school, is the same as last year. Nothing. And I'm learning to be okay with that.

Last year, I had my specific "filling up" people and places. I had two fabulous friends, a wonderful momma, and an amazing Bible study leader who I talked to about life and all its struggles and joys. They were my "filling up" people. They always pointed me back to the Gospel. Their hearts overflowed with love for the Lord, and that overflow poured into my heart. This year, my mom is the only person I'm able to talk to as much as I'd like. Before, I always had specific times when I knew I would see my friends and my Bible study leader and be able to talk. But our schedules are completely different now. I don't see any of them, except for my mom, as much as I would like to. And it's hard. When I realized that I wouldn't be able to see them that much, I was kind of at a loss. I thought, Where will I get filled up now? In the back of my head, I knew it was God that filled me up and not just my friends. But I still missed my people.

A few days ago, I was talking to my mom about the whole "filling up" thing. She gave me some wonderful words of wisdom. She said, "I think God takes away our 'filling up' places sometimes to remind us that it's HIM that fills us up." 

The Lord gives and 

the Lord takes away.

Blessed be the name

of the Lord.

//Job 1:21

And that's so true. I was relying too much on my friends to fill me up that I forgot that it's JESUS who was filling me up, not my friends! He manifests himself through them to fill me up. I was worrying so much about where I would get filled up that I got distracted from the real "filler upper." God has given me new people and places where he will fill me up with himself. Students of Grace, my middle school girls, my girls' Bible study, sweet friends at school. But it is still him and him only that fills me up. And by his grace, I will overflow. So much so that it spills onto everyone around me. That's my purpose in life. That he would overflow from my life into others and be glorified through it.

Awe, Adoration, and Arachnids

I've been thinking quite a lot about fear lately. Both fear of things to come and the fear of God. But before I dive into this post, I have a story about fear. Tonight I was cleaning the cottage for a relative who is going to come and spend the weekend with us. Now, it is spider season here at the Brown house. Webs and nasty spiders are everywhere. Going up to the cottage porch, I ran into a web. Thankfully it was just a little spider, but it still put me on edge. I went into the cottage and found a bigger spider, not too big but big enough, in the shower. Still wondering how that spider had gotten into the cottage in the first place, I started to make the bed. The quilt was folded up on the floor, so I put it on the bed and began unfolding it. I kid you not, there was a big wolf spider in the folds of the quilt. I about had a heart attack. Needless to say, I screamed and ran over to house, refusing to go back over to the cottage until both spiders had been killed. This incident reminded me of the statement I've been thinking about for the past couple of days. Fear is not of God. Fear is of the devil.

For God gave us a spirit not of fear

but of power and love and self-control.

//2 Timothy 1:7 

God has given us POWER to overcome fear. He has graciously given us the strength to fight our fears and to trust him with our worries. He has also given us a spirit of love. He wants us to reach out in love and cast away fear. He does not want us acting out of fear, but out of love. Be bold! Don't be afraid!

Then there's self-control. When I read this verse and started thinking about it, I thought, Why self-control? Why not one of the other Fruits of the Spirit, like peace? So I looked up self-control.

Self-control: control or restraint of oneself or one's actions, feelings, etc.

He gives us a spirit of self-control to restrain ourselves from acting out of fear or jumping to conclusions based on our fear. 

But what about the fear of the Lord? 

The fear of the Lord

is clean,

enduring forever;

the rules of the Lord

are true,

and righteous altogether.

//Psalm 19:9

The fear of the Lord is awe. He is strong, capable of anything, including discipline. We stand in awe of him for these reasons and more. But usually we focus on his love, and not how in awe we are of him. And yes, definitely, we need to remember his love for us. But how often do we just sit in awe of him? Almost afraid of his vastness and power? Honestly, I think this needs to happen more often. I mean, our God created GALAXIES y'all.

He came up with the way our brains work. He created personalities. Math equations. Languages. The way a flower grows. I mean, how often do we ponder all the things he's created? You're probably sitting there thinking, 'Yeah, I know, EVERYTHING.' But what specifically falls under everything? And the fact that he's the Creator is not the only thing we should stand in awe of. What about how he has so much love, an eternity's worth, to pour on us? That this love gave up his only Son to die the most shameful death so that worthless sinners could be his sons and daughters? That just amazes me. We don't fear God enough. We don't take enough time to sit down and think about who he really is and let ourselves be completely dumbfounded and awestruck. Because to be honest, it scares us. But God takes that fear, and turns it into adoration, because fear is not from him. Love is.