Let me just say, I was so nervous y'all. It was completely outside my comfort zone to go to this camp. I didn't know anyone, I would have a roommate, and have to play guitar and violin and sing in front of these people I didn't know. While I was there, I did some crazy (well, in my mind) things that I have never done before. God really stretched me, but at the same time led me gently. I think one of the biggest lessons he taught me there was that in order to be brought near to God, I had to get outside my comfort zone and how that applies not only to the things I did at camp, but all the change taking place my junior year of high school.
One of the crazy things I did at camp was lead worship with my band. Okay, rabbit trail, 'cause this is pretty great. Our group was split into three bands. My band was called That Band. The other two were called This Band and The Other Band. So, together, we were This, That, and The Other Bands. Awesome right? Okay, end of rabbit trail. So I was made the lead singer of my band, and for one song, I played a solo on my violin and on the other, I led by singing and playing my guitar. Now guys, when I play on the worship team at church, I only play violin. I'm a background instrument and I love it. I've led worship for youth group before, but it was only about fifteen people, so it wasn't that big of a deal. I also like to harmonize or be a background singer instead of singing melody. So, I assumed I would be a background instrument or singer, and maybe get some tips on how to play guitar better, thinking there would be so many others more qualified to lead than me. Yes, I'm a leader, but in that environment, I'd rather not be in the spotlight. But, as God would have it, I became the leader of our band. Way outside of my comfort zone right? But guess what? God gave me the grace to be okay with that, to realize being the leader of a worship band and to lead worship is a privilege. I got to lead God's people in worship. How awesome is that?
I was talking to my mom about how all of this happened, just all the things I did that were way outside my comfort zone and how I wasn't that nervous at all. She said, "Honey, it was the Holy Spirit." That just amazed me. God gave me those gifts and helped me use them for his glory at the camp without being nervous. It was awesome.
I came back from camp and went straight to the beach for a week, so I didn't have that much time to process everything that went on at camp. A few days ago, I was asking myself "What was the biggest thing I learned at camp? And how does that lesson play out into my life now that camp is over?" I thought about it for a while, and then realized it was getting out of my comfort zone and relying on God. Not just at camp, but in the days, weeks, and months to come. This next school year is going to be full of change and being outside my comfort zone. We have a new youth leader, I'm going to be taking classes at Bluegrass United, a homeschool organization, where I know maybe three people, one of my best friends will be at college six hours away, and my other best friend I will not see as much as I usually do. Lots of things outside of my comfort zone. But you know, when I'm in my comfort zone, I don't rely on God as much. I think I'm just fine, I got this, I can do it all. But when I'm pulled out of my comfort zone, I begin to realize that yeah, I'm completely dependent upon God. And you know what? It brings me closer to him. I'd rather be outside my comfort zone than in it if that's the case.
I just looked back and read that sentence again and thought, "Did I really just write that? What am I thinking?" But it's true. I want to be brought near to God even if it means I'm outside of my comfort zone. With everything happening in the next school year, you better believe I'm going to need God. I need him all the time, but my need for him will become more prevalent in the coming months. And he will satisfy my need, over and over again. Today at church, the sermon talked about being bold, taking risks for the gospel, and how prayer brings you in line with the will of God, even if it's outside your comfort zone. And then we sang the song Oceans, my all time favorite.
Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders.
Let me walk upon the waters
wherever you would call me.
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
and my faith will be made stronger
in the presence of my Savior.
That is my prayer over this next school year. That God would show me his will and that my faith in him would grow as he gives me grace to live in the freedom of the gospel and bring his love to the people I come in contact with. <3
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