Blessings

Ahhh, Christmas break. So much love. Honestly though, I am partly glad this semester is over, and partly sad too. This semester was rough for me guys. I'm seeing that this is a very common topic on my blog, but change definitely took a whole semester to get used to. Actually, scratch that, I'm still getting used it. My family started a store in August, and since then my life has been flipped upside down. (well, okay, that is not the only change, but it is a big one.) So much is different now, and let me tell you, my room has never stayed this messy for this long of a time. I'm sitting here on my bed writing this, drinking lukewarm tea, battery almost dead, and clothes all over the floor, not to mention my math books, guitar, and more clothes strewn across my bed. If you know me, this is not what my room looks like most of the time. I'm usually a neat freak. But I'm learning to be okay with it.

I went on a spontaneous coffee date with a sweet friend of mine a few days ago. Oh, it was so good for my soul. I was telling her about how it's been hard for me to adjust to new friends, a new school, and a new youth group. About how sometimes I just feel so lonely. Yes, I have friends, but they're all over the place, and it's hard to be able to see them other than school or church. I feel like I can't build relationships like I would like to. Loneliness had just really started to make itself at home in my heart. She looked right at me and told me how proud she was of me. How proud God was of me. That Jesus was in heaven looking down on me and saying, "That's my girl." Tears started to stream down my face. How could he be proud of me? What on earth had I done that Jesus, the Son of God and Savior of the world, would be proud of? She told me how much he delights in me, that he loves to love on me, that he's always giving little blessings, and big ones too.

And then something awesome happened.

My friend and I were sitting by the window at the coffee shop, looking out on Main Street. A lady had pulled up to bring a cake in for some special event. I guess she had seen me crying, so she motioned for me to come out. She then pulled out a box of cupcakes and gave them to us. "We have extra," she said. My friend looked at me and said, "And there's a little blessing right there. He loves you Ellie." How incredible that the God of the universe took the time of day to send me that little blessing. It blows my mind.

So now, I'm challenging myself to look for ways God is showing his love. I know he does, but sometimes I just focus so much on the negative circumstances that I miss the blessings. I read somewhere that we tend to blow the negative parts of life, however small, way out of proportion, pushing the positive parts away. What if we looked for the blessings in a conversation instead of mentally kicking ourselves for something stupid we said? What if we challenged ourselves to look for the good in a situation instead of automatically picking out the bad? What if? Blessings are everywhere. Let's pray for the grace to see them. Love to you all. <3

I'm an...editor?

     Whew, so much to catch up on. One of the main things that's been going on recently is that I've become the founder and editor in chief of The Blue Hawk, a school newspaper for Bluegrass United. It's been awesome so far, and tomorrow our second edition will be out. It's definitely a learning experience for me, learning how to write a column, figuring out how to get everything in on time so I can compile it all, and, the hardest for me, editing my people's columns and not taking over. I love to edit and mark papers with red ink all over. It's just a quirky thing about me. I love grammar, sentence structure, word choice - all of it. Anyways, it's been difficult for me to keep my writers' style intact. I tend to want to take over and rewrite the whole thing. But that's not what the newspaper's about. It's about giving teenagers an opportunity to be creative in ways they might not be otherwise, whether it be through writing a column, photographing an event, or creating a comic. It's been awesome to read everyone's articles and see everyone's pictures and compile it all into The Blue Hawk. I love it and can't wait to see where it goes. 

     For the second edition, I wrote this article. Since I'm the editor in chief, I get to write about whatever I want for the editorial. Perfect job for me. I'm allowed to be opinionated and everything. It's great. :) Hope y'all enjoy it! Happy reading!

     “The Fault in Our Stars?? Oh my gosh, that’s like my most favorite book/movie EVER!!!!” Yep, this is the cry of a typical teenage girl right about now. And before I continue, you are free to disagree with me if you like. But I didn’t like it, really at all. It was so depressing and there was no hope.

I’ve been through this cancer thing before. My mom was diagnosed with cancer when I was nine, while she was pregnant with my brother. It was tough, seeing her hurting that way, and being so unsure of the ending. But God, in his great mercy, got us through it and now both of them, my mom and my brother, are as happy and healthy as could be. My mom has been cancer free for eight years. 

     Then, when I was thirteen, my grandpa, or Pop-pop as all his grandkids called him, was diagnosed with cancer. Five weeks after he had been diagnosed, he went home to be with Jesus. And let me tell you, that was probably one of the toughest things I have ever been through. I still struggle with it sometimes.

     You may be sitting there thinking, ‘I’m sorry for your loss and all Ellie, but The Fault in Our Stars wasn’t really that bad.’ I can understand why you would say that. And I completely respect your opinion. 

     At the same time, as I said before, I struggled with the fact that there was no hope. Jesus was not in it at all. Hazel and Augustus - their lives revolved around themselves and whatever they could find to take pleasure in. To them, death was the finality of life. There was no assurance for them of where they would go after death. And that’s what made me sad. Hope and joy were nonexistent. Can you imagine if Christ had been the center of this story? They would have had so much joy, and not just fake happiness that comes from perishable pleasures, but real joy. They wouldn’t see death as the finality of life, but rather the beginning of infinite life and happiness. It would have been a much grander infinity than the one they had dreamed up for themselves.

     I do have to say, this book gave me a new perspective and helped me have more compassion towards those who have been through this without hope. Who are going through it right now without hope. I can’t imagine going through something like that, not knowing that death does not have the final say. I think that’s the main message we, as Christians, can take from the book. There truly are those who are lost, without hope, in this broken world. They need compassion. They need love. They need Jesus. And he’s called us to love those people. To spread this hope, this joy everywhere we go. And by his grace, may we be his vessels, the lights in the dark places, bringing hope to the hopeless.